


The End Version 3

by ElizabethWilde



Series: Driving Force [18]
Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, Reunion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-28
Updated: 2003-11-28
Packaged: 2018-03-15 16:48:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3454469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElizabethWilde/pseuds/ElizabethWilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott returns to Xavier's school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End Version 3

**Author's Note:**

> Song used is "The Lover After Me" by Savage Garden

~Here I go again; I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today.  
It's been seven months and counting  
You've moved on  
I still feel exactly the same.  
It's just that everywhere I go all the buildings know your name  
Like photographs and memories of love  
Steel and granite reminders  
The city calls your name and I can't move on.~

Scott stalked down another street in another city and let the bitter winter wind chill his skin. //Too damn bad it only numbs the outside,// he thought darkly, pulling his coat a little tighter. His skin was chapped from the wind. Walking outside made his body cold and almost unfeeling.

His heart was an entirely different story. It seemed to Scott that with each turn he took, the world got darker and colder. //Because Jean isn't in it. At least not for me.// He thrust his hands deeper in his jean pockets and walked with his head down, against the wind. 

//Get it together, Summers. She's over it. You should be too.// Scott shivered, but the spasm had little to do with the weather. He was tired of the cold, of the loneliness, of living each day with no direction or purpose. He had walked away from everything that made life worth living.

//I walked away from Jean.// 

~Ever since you've been gone  
The lights go out the same  
The only difference is  
You call another name  
To your love  
To your lover now  
To your love  
The lover after me~

//And if you were there, you could--what? Watch her be with Logan? Feel it...// He shuddered, remembering the way he could feel Jean's emotions the first time she made love to Logan. //Talk about rubbing salt in a wound.// It hadn't been intentional, of course, and he supposed his misery had echoed back to her the way her joy had to him. But the echoes grew fainter every day. //Now I can't feel her if I try.//

He wondered how the way Jean felt toward Logan compared to the way she had felt toward him. They had been friends for years before they were lovers. Scott knew Jean almost better than he knew himself. //I thought I did, anyway.//

//Was that Logan's whole appeal? He was just... different? Something new?// Scott sighed and ducked into a nearby coffee shop to get warm, buying the cheapest stuff they had even though it earned him a scornful glare from the young waitress. He took the coffee with a brief thank you and sat down in the darkest corner the place had to offer. //Was I that boring or is he that exciting?// Scott sighed and downed almost half the blisteringly hot liquid. //This train of thought isn't doing a hell of a lot for my self-confidence.//

~Am I all alone in the universe?  
There's no love on these streets.  
I have given mine away to a world that didn't want it anyway.  
So this is my new freedom  
It's funny  
I don't remember being chained  
But nothing seems to make sense anymore  
Without you I'm always twenty minutes late.~

Alone again in the cockroach-infested dive Scott was temporarily calling home, the former leader of the X-Men tried to figure out why he'd ever thought he could leave. //Yeah, you can survive without Jean. Right. And you can also do without air and water. It'll work just great.//

//Until you go completely insane.//

Being alone wasn't fun. Scott hated trying to sleep without hearing Jean's breathing at his side. He hated waking up holding a pillow instead of her. //God, you're pitiful, Summers. Can't even function without her. Dammit.//

Scott rose from the bed with a resolute scowl and grabbed a duffel bag, throwing his few possessions-at least the few he might need-inside. Fumbling with his wallet, he surmised that he had just enough money. //Fuck it. I'm going home.// Slamming the door shut behind him, Scott turned to the street and started waving his hand. Soon enough, a yellow taxi swerved to a halt in front of him. Scott piled into the backseat. "Where ya headed, buddy?" the greasy-looking driver asked without glancing back at his charge.

"Westchester. Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. There's an extra twenty in it for you if we get there tonight." 

~And time goes by so slowly  
The nights are cold and lonely  
I shouldn't be holding on  
But I'm still holding on for you.

Here I go again  
I promised myself I wouldn't think of you today  
But I'm standing at your doorway  
I'm calling out your name because I can't move on.~

Scott was inside the mansion before he had time to think. He knew himself well enough to know that a second's hesitation would mean overanalyzing the situation and deciding to leave again. //And then I'd be right back where I started.// Taking a deep breath, he looked around. It seemed exactly the same. //It's only been seven months, moron. Of course it's the same.// 

He took another shaky breath and started up the stairs. He let his heart lead, let any coherent thought slip away. //Thinking is what got me into this damn mess.// He didn't pass anyone on the way-not that he'd expected to at four in the morning-and was glad for it. 

The door looked the same. //Our room.// He knew better, of course. He knew it was no longer "our room." //Their room,// he corrected, a sudden pang echoing through his being. 

Three gentle knocks later, Jean appeared. Her hair was mussed from sleep, eyes bleary. She wore a plain white cotton gown and had a fuzzy blue robe clutched together in front of her. Then her eyes went wide and became clear. "Scott!"

He managed a weak smile. "Hey."

"You're here!" Jean blinked a couple of times and then asked, "When did you get here?"

"Just now. I came straight here. I just... I..." Scott suddenly realized that all his focus on being impulsive had left even him at a loss in regard to his motives. "I guess I just needed to see you."

She smiled. "I'm glad." She let another moment pass and then said, "How about breakfast?"

Scott gave her a genuine smile then. "Sure. I'll find a room and then meet you in the kitchen."

"Okay."

"Okay."

As he turned, Jean called after him, "Scott?"

"Yeah?"

"I missed you."

His smile faded a little. "I missed you too."


End file.
